You want a summary of everything on this blog so far? A shorter summary than the usual shortness of summaries? Real short? One word? Leave. But if you want a longer summary (because I have written a lot of shit, okay?): You know the problem with you? You believe too much bullshit. Take this: Have … Continue reading I leave you
Push up I stood on the platform, horizontally, waiting, my hands went all awry, my heart began to hurt, and now I may as well lie down on the platform, so that's what I did.BurpeeAnd the train left without me (or not yet) but I ran after it and before you know it, I became … Continue reading Writing exercises
It's 11:06 in all directions. When it (life) started out, all was dandy. Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. And then I could tell. "I can tell the time. The time! Ask me the time, ask me the time. Someone.Ask.Me.The.Time." Poor bastard. At the center of childhood's cuckoodom is a sense of timelessness. A bottomless freedom. A stupid trust. A … Continue reading Take your time
Only schmucks give advice.If you sweat a lot you shouldn't wear grey, you Rorschach juice sluice.Accumulate accumulate accumulate, die.What if: not?Stop pretending. Once in a while.Wait.Keep away from people who say 'manifest'. Relax, fucker.You are not a writer. Or a designer.Don't become so sane you become insane, you one trick weenies.
If this is your first time here, allow me to introduce myself. Today's essay is rules of love. I wrote it. If your love needs rules, you are in a marriage, and rule numero uno is to know they are two very different things, love and marriage--you know, vast as the differences between chocolate and … Continue reading Rules of love
What if you had all the money?What would you worry about?What if you are King? What if you had all the power?Respectability.The King!What if you knew everything?What would you think about then?All hail the King! What if you had:Everything? But; But of course. What if?You haveforgottenYou are King.
I am trying something old, old in the futility of it, old in the fugitivity i find myself in—uninterested in writing as i know—knew—it, in thinking the way i think (thought), in wondering (thought, again)—i have become old in my habits and all freshness has been deodorized by foreowned wisdom—can you stop saying "i" so … Continue reading Sentenced
Writers carry a notebook with them. It's their twitch stream. There's a profound pity in the stupefaction that is staring at the assemblage of letters, which—when you wrote them in a burst of epiphanic succor—meant so much to you but when read a week later makes you go, what could mundane cucumber cock even mean? … Continue reading You may want to write this down
Parents! Let's talk about your kid, your precious little oxygen mask for nuptial suffocation. Said child has made a choice. A difficult choice. One you will not possibly like. Actually, you won't like it. Your child is gay. No--worse. Your child has decided to make Art. For the rest of her life. Also, probably gay. … Continue reading Baby shower
PowerPoint presentation Would you like to see me vomit? Ego How much protein do you get in a day? Existential crisis Where do millennials end and Generation Z begin? Social media What is premature ejaculation? Baking Depressed? Shit my dad says Can you help my friend's daughter attain enlightenment? Marriage Does tomorrow, 2:00 PM work … Continue reading Begs the question
Meditations 