Loneliness

The paroxysm of loneliness when you are surrounded by people is phony poignancy. Like seeing a picture of a cat and clicking on a blog post. Loneliness is not your relationship with people. It's your relationship with yourself. And maybe you are just boring. Loneliness used to be the sovereignty of existence. Now it's an … Continue reading Loneliness

Hakuna Matata Hakuna Matata Hakuna Matata Hakuna Matata Hakuna Matata Hakuna Matata

"Don't worry" is the empathy of dipshits. You may as well tell people, I don't care about you, but I need to say something to pretend I do. "Don't worry.""I am not worried.""It's okay to pee under the shower.""I don't pee under the shower, that's disgusting, what made you say that, ew, who does that?""Don't … Continue reading Hakuna Matata Hakuna Matata Hakuna Matata Hakuna Matata Hakuna Matata Hakuna Matata

19 ways to name a baby

Cave: I s h m a e lRenaissance: Call me Ishmael.Baroque: My name once was, happens to be, and somehow still is, Ishmael.Cubism: Call me [Ishmael].Classicism: Please, thou can address yours truly, Noble Ishmael.Rococo: The name's Ishmael, Ishmael's the name, name the's Ishmael.Impressionism: For those who think I need an introduction, appelez-moi Ishmae.Expressionism: The self … Continue reading 19 ways to name a baby

Now, fly

This essay is dedicated to everyone that's offended me. I forgive you. Don't get in touch though, I am not forgiving you that much. Forgiveness is like the sun — you never look at it directly. Not until you see anger has made you blind already. A few know their way around anger, its purgatory … Continue reading Now, fly