The average human lifespan is 650,000 hours. We are awake for about 450,000 of them. You know how the rest of this goes. After stripping away the hours you spend peeling a pomegranate, checking yourself out on anything remotely reflective, deciding which TV show is really worth watching for the third time to reigning over the banana republic … Continue reading Shortness of breath
Dream big is the gray-haired, toothless tagline for success. The successful people that bellow those words into our eager faces rarely tell us what to do when our dreams come true. Because no one has a clue. Having no clue is the one thing you can't admit when you are successful. People will figure you lucked … Continue reading Does it come in black?
Moody people piss me off. And the fact that I am one of those people calms me down. Moodiness is like the sweet pudgy uncle from childhood. Uncle brings you all the affection. He brings you food to play with and toys to eat. You grow up a little and he becomes your child-service helpline … Continue reading On and of(f) moodiness.
Remember the dude that was staring at his own reflection for so long he fell in love with it and then promptly fell into the water to never come back up? His name was narcissus. What's kinda dickish about the myth is narcissus looks like a hobo in every later depiction of him. Anyway here's the … Continue reading Falling in love
Boredom is the frog that kissed the prince. Or something weird like that. As a kid, you got bored when you had nothing to do. Growing up, you get bored because you are often doing something you don't want to do. I knew what I wanted to do when I turned ten. And thirteen. And … Continue reading It’s just a phase
Ape. A million years later. Human. No one's really sure what happened. Two dramatic changes: brains ballooned, backs straightened. The reason evolution is unfathomable (if you consider it) is that only a small group came to look like you. The rest continued as apes. A few people, somewhat blasphemously, wanted to understand how this played … Continue reading Rethinking work
Vincent van Gogh was an artist. Without further ado, he cut off his own ear. Now, I don't think you care what Van Gogh created. At this point, all you want to hear about is the ear. Rhyme, oxymoron, pun, and callousness all in one sentence -- I am an artist and I know it. … Continue reading Post unimpressed-ionism: the one art movement to end all art movements
For over a century now, humanity has had this demonstrably delusional desire to understand one other. Psychology made its best attempt but found itself driven into madness trying. Which is hilarious and somewhat deserving when you think about all the shit psychology has put us through. Lately, this need to understand is becoming life-sustaining. Because … Continue reading Why no one understands you
For the last couple of years, I have put out an essay on this blog pretty much every week. I am a beast and I know it. But that has never been the point. I will risk naivete and admit I am kinda impressed with myself. As much as I have had this urge to … Continue reading This is not what i love
"For the hundredth time, I don't mean to pry." -A cat's last words. Curiosity is a benign human peculiarity that's gone through a long, arduous, mostly successful advancement. Lately, the journey's turned nauseous and circuitous. Freaking long ago, Curiosity started as nature's way of human sustenance. Red, round, runny thing. "Let's try it." Ten days later... … Continue reading Curiosity