Hakuna Matata Hakuna Matata Hakuna Matata Hakuna Matata Hakuna Matata Hakuna Matata

"Don't worry" is the empathy of dipshits. You may as well tell people, I don't care about you, but I need to say something to pretend I do. "Don't worry.""I am not worried.""It's okay to pee under the shower.""I don't pee under the shower, that's disgusting, what made you say that, ew, who does that?""Don't … Continue reading Hakuna Matata Hakuna Matata Hakuna Matata Hakuna Matata Hakuna Matata Hakuna Matata

19 ways to name a baby

Cave: I s h m a e lRenaissance: Call me Ishmael.Baroque: My name once was, happens to be, and somehow still is, Ishmael.Cubism: Call me [Ishmael].Classicism: Please, thou can address yours truly, Noble Ishmael.Rococo: The name's Ishmael, Ishmael's the name, name the's Ishmael.Impressionism: For those who think I need an introduction, appelez-moi Ishmae.Expressionism: The self … Continue reading 19 ways to name a baby

Now, fly

This essay is dedicated to everyone that's offended me. I forgive you. Don't get in touch though, I am not forgiving you that much. Forgiveness is like the sun — you never look at it directly. Not until you see anger has made you blind already. A few know their way around anger, its purgatory … Continue reading Now, fly

Cry babies

Everything sucks. The Wi-Fi.The Weather.The Phone.The Food.The Job.The Joint.The Music.The Mankind.This Alliteration.That Alligator. All right. I feel better. Let's get started. There was a time not long back when we all went apeshit over positive thinking. You know the time when we all pretended not to notice Rimy was sad, and when she started crying, … Continue reading Cry babies