One morning of early 2017, I woke up with a dumb-muscled urge to travel. I opened my Facebook account and told my friends that humanity was a stagnating cesspool and they all one bubble in its soapscum; I told my girlfriend I had enough of her shit; I told my boss to kiss my arse. … Continue reading I believe I can fly
Our dietary habits have changed. It's not about food any longer. Sorry butterballs who came here looking for a beach body. We've got a bigger problem to deal with. The new kind of consumption is about information. It's why social media is choking on its own vomit all the time. The more we gorge, the … Continue reading How to lose 100 pounds in 125 days
majestic. oceanic. abstractic. keeps the world afloat. For long, no one cared about finding out the meaning of time. Its use was limited to mechanization. Now, it's turned into a perspective tool. Its vastness and ephemera have become regular reminders of our own unimportance. In the cosmic language of time your life is a grain of … Continue reading The end
What the heck is this? Hey, everyone. No. First, explain what you are doing. This is a test. For what? To check if you are a sociopath. I am NOT a sociopath!! Then, I wrote these jokes for you. If you laugh, you have passed. If you don't, you like to torture kittens. Good luck. … Continue reading Jokes
"Execution is everything." The answer to the question, "why is the world filled with so much crap?" At work, *doing* is the monomaniacal metric of performance. No one cares about anything as long as you are doing shit. It's why workplaces have portable toilets known as meetings. When you don't know what to do with … Continue reading The end of work
Once upon a time, in a garden up in the skies, grew a giant tree. Angels hobnobbed with the local populace, serpents coiled about freely, a particular man and woman enjoyed each other's companionship. The only part of the tale that raised some rock-style eyebrows was the kind of fruit growing out of the aforementioned … Continue reading This can’t be happening
We are 96% ape. If that astonishes you, here's something that won't: we are a 100% one another. Not to burst your I-am-the-chosen-one bubble or anything, but you are the most mainstream thing on earth. Humanity's progress has been determined by how discontent it has been with itself. Because we all have a deep-rooted desire … Continue reading Get one free
The principled virtues of your existence helping or hindering your edification depend on moral traits that the common populace upholds toward its own enlightenment. Dawn, thus comes upon the few who have no such virtues. Sophistication comes from Greek 'Sophistry'. Sophistry comes from the Latin 'Sophist'. Sophist comes from English 'Jackass'. Sophistry is a style … Continue reading For whom the bell trolls: Talking on the Internet
What happens when you wrap excuse, escape, entitlement and exaggerated self-importance into one taco? This alliterative junk food has many names. Psychology, the gentlemanly cigar-smokin uncle that it is, calls it bias. Self-help, the nauseous, processed food that it is, calls it the story you tell yourself. Of course, I, the cosmic vastness that is my vocabulary, … Continue reading Secret(a)
There's an elusive answer with your name on it. You conduct an almost rabid search for it. In books, experiences, travel, music, money, and mountains. Along the way, you join a cult. Or, better, you start one. You will do whatever it takes to find out the answer to the mysterious quirk that is your … Continue reading What should I do with my life?
