Jokes

What the heck is this?

Hey, everyone.

No. First, explain what you are doing.

This is a test.

For what?

To check if you are a sociopath.

I am NOT a sociopath!!

Then, I wrote these jokes for you. If you laugh, you have passed. If you don’t, you like to torture kittens. Good luck.

Wait. What??

Introversion

I want a doormat that says “Please go away.”

Charlie Chaplin walked in the rain so no one can see him crying. I cut an onion.

A person that tells you to dance like no one’s watching is the one watching.

Tragedy

You know the girl who sells seashells on the seashore? She drowned.

What accident saves a thousand lives? One that happens on a Mcdonald’s drive-thru.

People who tell you, you can do anything with your life have done just one thing all their life.

Girlfriend

My girlfriend called me to tell me her Grandma’s sick. I told her my grandma’s dead.

My girlfriend dumped me. She said I am insensitive. I told her “I feel you.”

My girlfriend asked me to dedicate a song to strengthen our relationship. I asked them to play candle in the wind.

Family

Me: Dad you want Earphones? Dad: I don’t need earphones. I can take the phone to my ears.

Me: Mom do you want Earphones? Mom: Let’s just get one phone first and see how it goes.

Me: Brother you want earphones? Brother: Did you cut-off your ear or something?

Running

All charity runs are about one common cause: the free t-shirt.

I want to take part in a marathon someday. I want to be the guy on the bike.

If I were a running coach I will inspire all the people warming up for the race with the history of the Marathon: “Pheidippides, the soldier who ran the first marathon from Greece to Athens in 490 B.C.  delivered the message “Victory!” before he keeled over and died.”

Middle-class

Your hobby is collecting plastic.

You only wear branded clothes with spelling mistakes.

The number of things in your house is equal to the average age of those things.

History

History of jokes: “Acronyms”

History of philosophy: “Punctuation marks”

History of marriage: “human life is like a flower gloriously blooming in a meadow: along comes a goat, eats it up—no more flower.”

The end. My name is guest006512.

 

 

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