Seven shitty zen koans

Here’s some mind impasse consciousness charades to meditate on the next time you feel like none of it makes any sense. Namaste.

1. Who gives a shit?
   
2. Thank God, I am not a proctologist.
   
3. The longer you talk (/think), the more shit you make up.
   
4. When shit hits the fan, don’t put on the fan.
   
5. You can make fart sounds with two hands, but can you make fart sounds with one hand?
   
6. Did you flush the toilet today?
   
7. When you see a bull, watch out for the bullshit.