New year resolutions

Begin a PowerPoint presentation with a Hitler quote.

Write an essay titled “Fucking”.

Fall off a surfboard.

Give away balloons.

Go shopping and buy shit without looking at the price.

Stop someone in a hurry and tell them everyone’s going to die someday.

Give the finger to anyone (preferably a kid) looking out through the car’s sunroof.

Sit down next to a rich person (preferably a woman) and pick your nose.

Go to a girl you just met and ask her if she wants to get married; marry her if she says Yes.

Throw away someone’s phone when they are using it:

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