I wanted to be the Grandpa who would sit in the same spot at the bus station and watch the buses go by every day for the last two years.I wanted to be everyone eating alone.I wanted to be the kid with a lollipop in his mouth.I wanted to be the autowala who snapped into … Continue reading What do you want to be when you grow up?
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. I know, right? What is wrong with the world, yeah? How about way too many assoles talking about what's wrong with the world. How about that? You know this. This is the longest we've gone without a catastrophic war; we have fewer deadly diseases; longer life-spans; and a standard of freedom previously unknown—I mean, … Continue reading Hello, Peter
Peanut Butter ★ Basically: shit in a jar. This Blog ★★ Read a book instead. Humanity ★★★ Unprofessionally managed. When asked to see the manager I was told He's gone AWOL and some guy from the kitchen yelled I could piss off if I didn't like it here but they apologized and gave me a … Continue reading Categorical Imperatives
Something needs to be wrong with the world. That need is the foundation of capitalism. Progress is, existentially speaking, an antidote to boredom. The latest in our list of faux purposefulness is thinking about the world we are leaving behind for the kids, the mollycoddling climax. This pogrom is a perfect distraction from the original … Continue reading 8 Billion
How vain to believe I have something useful to say every week. How apropos of the spirit of the times, of nothing, this need to write about not having something to write about. How reassuring, finally, to have written something; to be seen making something of my life, my life of something.
Whether you like it or not, you are living in a simulation. Not the loony theory Elon Musk harps on about us all being players in an alien's Xbox. Not even the loonier theory that that alien is Mark Zuckerberg. Your simulation is the habit you insist on calling, living. Go to school, get a … Continue reading All the stage’s a world
I usually start an essay with a single idea. The seed is usually 1% of the entire piece, while the remaining 99% is my trying to fool everyone that what I am saying has something to do with the central idea. Being a charlatan, while a lot of fun, can also get exhausting, for both … Continue reading Let’s cut the crap
Your preoccupation with writing doesn’t mean you have found your purpose. It doesn’t mean you don’t type the words “is this what I want to do with my life?” over and over, as you stare at a blank page. It only means there are a handful of things your life is short for and defining … Continue reading The best is behind me
I have been trying to write succinctly. K. Why do I take 500 words to prove how willfully stupid I am, while most others can do it in under 140 characters? Thus began my attempt to write the perfect Tweet: Everything I can say about the extreme emptiness of my life, in 140 characters. So … Continue reading How to write the perfect Tweet
Suffering implodes in intervals of immortality. We are all efficient at hating ourselves. The regularity of this state makes acceptance impractical. So we've substituted acceptance with obsession. Life with lifelike. Unknown with unconsciousness. Our mind has the quality checks of Willy Wonka's chocolate factory. Unconsciousness, hence, has become the supply chain of catastrophe. We've declared … Continue reading What’s the word for sleepwalking?