Writing advice. Every writer's excuse to not write. At some point in the life of a writer s/he is hard-pressed to give out advice on writing. It speaks both of the delusion and desperation that is inherent to the art. First off, I have no intention to establish authority. I have none. If the number … Continue reading How to write

"I am not religious; I am spiritual," is like a cannibal saying he is vegan only because he eats other vegans. There's no better way to ease into religion and spirituality than a disturbingly unfunny joke about the absence of dairy in human flesh. Let's get spirituality out the way. Spirituality is your still-single uncle … Continue reading Rated R

If you came here looking for a list, I have none. But you probably came for something else. You are here to find out what kind of person I am. That's what books are. Persona-shaping loneliness-fighting mystery-soaked nostalgia-induced emotionally-embalmed human connectors. A person's bookshelf is a museum of his soul. It can tell you everything … Continue reading Favorite books

You care way too much about how you look; I can help. You look stupid! If you are consoling yourself with the idea that you are at least intelligent, we both know you are dumb as an algae-infested rock! Talking about rocks: MEN ROCK! That's the quickest I have traversed the whole spectrum of douchebaggery. … Continue reading How to get pissed off

You do stupid things all the time. You know you are doing something stupid while doing it. You know you did something stupid after doing it. Each time, you walk away from your embarrassing existence hoping no one noticed. Then one cold winter morning all the dumb things you did explode on your face like … Continue reading On Stupidity

What the heck is this? Hey, everyone. No. First, explain what you are doing. This is a test. For what? To check if you are a sociopath. I am NOT a sociopath!! Then, I wrote these jokes for you. If you laugh, you have passed. If you don't, you like to torture kittens. Good luck. … Continue reading Jokes

Once upon a time, in a garden up in the skies, grew a giant tree. Angels hobnobbed with the local populace, serpents coiled about freely, a particular man and woman enjoyed each other's companionship. The only part of the tale that raised some rock-style eyebrows was the kind of fruit growing out of the aforementioned … Continue reading This can’t be happening

What happens when you wrap excuse, escape, entitlement and exaggerated self-importance into one taco? This alliterative junk food has many names. Psychology, the gentlemanly cigar-smokin uncle that it is, calls it bias. Self-help, the nauseous, processed food that it is, calls it the story you tell yourself. Of course, I, the cosmic vastness that is my vocabulary, … Continue reading Secret(a)