It means you roll over the bed probing the position you feel the least amount of pain and in that internal search for stomach-centered meaninglessness, you lose sleep and get up feeling cranky, and then your mum asks you why you have been in the toilet for so long. Have a good day. It means … Continue reading What it means to have a stomach ache

Hand towels + DishclothBulbsShoe standDish strainer / Dish MatTool Box (Screws for chairs)BowlsContainers Grater Water mud pot Oil canister

Do you want to run away? From places, people, and then, unenviably, whateverly, from yourself? Read on, dove; like, duh. Freedom had a great run. For millennia, it was into restoring hope and nurturing life. As goals go: hairy. And then freedom became about calling someone a fag. Letdown, it od'd on conservative idiocy and … Continue reading How to escape prison

Peanut Butter ★ Basically: shit in a jar. This Blog ★★ Read a book instead. Humanity ★★★ Unprofessionally managed. When asked to see the manager I was told He's gone AWOL and some guy from the kitchen yelled I could piss off if I didn't like it here but they apologized and gave me a … Continue reading Categorical Imperatives

I have been trying to write succinctly. K. Why do I take 500 words to prove how willfully stupid I am, while most others can do it in under 140 characters? Thus began my attempt to write the perfect Tweet: Everything I can say about the extreme emptiness of my life, in 140 characters. So … Continue reading How to write the perfect Tweet

Here's some mind impasse consciousness charades to meditate on the next time you feel like none of it makes any sense. Namaste. Who gives a shit?Thank God, I am not a proctologist.The longer you talk (/think), the more shit you make up.When shit hits the fan, don't put on the fan.You can make fart sounds … Continue reading Seven shitty zen koans

Editing every single thought you have in your head to just the perfect degree, so you can make them look natural, like these are thoughts you have all the time, is content creation's a la mode. Anyway, here are some random thoughts I had this morning. I think I am an introvert. My imaginary friend … Continue reading A day in the head

We have all taken a towering shit on America since Trump. While Americans have been doing most of the turd throwing themselves, the rest of us outside beelined to blow into the troll trumpet. Why pay attention to the cancerous growth of a political clown posse you are in when you can scratch someone else's … Continue reading American chop suey