How vain to believe I have something useful to say every week. How apropos of the spirit of the times, of nothing, this need to write about not having something to write about. How reassuring, finally, to have written something; to be seen making something of my life, my life of something.
Where do we begin? Talking about social media feels like a cool breeze against your ass after a morning dump. That, and the usual reminder: you forgot to wash your hands again. If social media were a country it would be some combination of ancient Greece and 1940's Germany. The questions mankind would ask and … Continue reading I’ll be there for you: The social dilemma
Steps to become humble: Do some patently incredible shit.Pretend like you don't care.Make sure you toss the word luck around a lot. Alternatively, if you want to make God vomit, say it's all because of Him.If you want to go one step further, keep your voice strenuously low. As far as virtues go, humility is … Continue reading I am the greatest
No one's any good at starting a cult. It shouldn't be that hard. The mistake everyone makes is going too bizarre too soon. That works only for rappers. And cats.Most of us already have what it takes to join a cult. It's just that we are already in one and from there, watching something new … Continue reading How to start a cult
I have cracked the habits to become a famous artist. Get drunk a lot. Make sure you are in a state of constant physical pain. Be wretchedly unhappy. Feel lonely to the bone. Bleed out your emotions, twice a day. Die. Someday after you are gone, your work will be discovered, introduced to the world … Continue reading How to waste time like a billionaire
No one's here.That doesn't scare me.It scares me to think someone may be.Every noise: the slow rustle, the distant cacophony, my own.Every movement: the bending light, the unstill water, my own.You there, unknown? It gives me a strange comfort to fear the unknown.It's my only companion.I let the noise stay:I am here. I am here.I … Continue reading Unknown & you
Everyone knows Rich. At least according to Rich. Everywhere Rich goes, people queue up to get a glimpse of him. They indulge in acrobatic acts of servility to get his attention. Rich's favorite hobby is to look for people that aren't giving him attention and scream the words "do you know who I am?" into their … Continue reading No one knows who you are