While my co-passenger ate a white-bread sandwich, watched a movie on his phone, went on to play tennis on said phone, took a nap, read the instructions on the flight's barf-bag, and performed an act of purification by vigorously rubbing his phone on either side of his chest, I sat staring into the existential paleness of … Continue reading I screen you screen we are screen for eye scream
Iamusedtohittingthespacebaraftereverywordsothisisweird. w h a t i f I w r o t e vertically? IjustfigureditseaseiertowritenormallyfirstandthentakeoutthespacesandpunctuationlaterIamanartistafterall. Am I … Continue reading The history of art in five minutes
In about 3 seconds from now, you are going to judge me. I, though, do not judge people. Did you do it already? Did you read that and go, "Can you believe this self-lubricating shitgibbon?", and then privately feel happy about your level of self-awareness, like I did? Perfection has been the holy grail of … Continue reading Burger and fries, anyone?
Head EyeS ears nose mouth heart
Why do we take some people more seriously than most others? a) Because "some" people love you and everything they say must be right. b) Because "most" people are idiots and you should take Nothing they say seriously, which leaves you with "some" people.c) Screw people. I know I am right. (Sounded cool right?—are they … Continue reading Preservatives
A hundred years from now, when our century joins human civilization in its conclusive temporality, what will our page in the history book look like? My wager is on a pop-up ad. When TV sold people shit, it was unequivocal. It wasn't ashamed about coming off as crummy. Because what was your alternative? Stop watching? … Continue reading Buying the monk’s ferrari
What I have so far: Prosaic nauseate that's sat in a document for 1-24 months/the first draft.1. This is unsalvageable. Is this what doomsday feels like?2. Let me begin by throwing in some words that make it sound like this essay is both distant from and yet proximally wreathed in the hoi polloi whose bullshit … Continue reading My 13-step editing process
August 1973, Stockholm, Sweden. Guy takes four people hostage in a bank's vault. He goes through the customary shindig of demand or doom. He keeps this up for four days—threatening to kill a hostage every day, getting on the line with the Prime minister of Sweden, and while still on call, strangleholding a hostage until … Continue reading The respectability of idiots
Meditations 