I am normal because I feel like shit all the time is the latest from the woke cult. Twitching over how screwed up everything is is not normal. It's why the line between delusion and depression is becoming dangerously indistinguishable. How did our mental afflictions become a marketing tool for doom? Is there no one left who can … Continue reading C₆H₂(NO₂)₃CH₃
When you wake up in the morning, tell yourself: the people I deal with today will be meddling, ungrateful, arrogant, dishonest, jealous, and surly.-Marcus Aurelius People are assoles is a pheromone responsible for the cognitive bias fecundity. It's why a Roman emperor who lived 1900 years before Twitter, can weather forecast your days. What sounds like … Continue reading How to have a good day
The paroxysm of loneliness when you are surrounded by people is phony poignancy. Like seeing a picture of a cat and clicking on a blog post. Loneliness is not your relationship with people. It's your relationship with yourself. And maybe you are just boring. Loneliness used to be the sovereignty of existence. Now it's an … Continue reading Loneliness
The people I write for are dead. Doing something for its own sake used to be creativity's Kumbh Mela. Now it resembles one guy grunting in the gym. You have my attention and it's because I want to knee you in the groin. Doing something for its own sake doesn't mean you don't care what … Continue reading The koan of creation
"Don't worry" is the empathy of dipshits. You may as well tell people, I don't care about you, but I need to say something to pretend I do. "Don't worry.""I am not worried.""It's okay to pee under the shower.""I don't pee under the shower, that's disgusting, what made you say that, ew, who does that?""Don't … Continue reading Hakuna Matata Hakuna Matata Hakuna Matata Hakuna Matata Hakuna Matata Hakuna Matata
From playing the Banjo to writing non-fiction erotica to raising your kids religious, you can learn how to do any of it in under hundred bucks. Although if you want to learn all three, you need to buy my course: making a murderer. The Internet is a fat-fatigue of information. The assembly of yottabytes along … Continue reading Let me answer your question with another question
It is the best of times it is the worst of times it is therefore the most confusing of times. Today is the future. Today is the past. Today is evil. When you are on a long vacation from reason, how does it matter what day it is? It's always today. To pay attention now, … Continue reading The today show
Today, I am going to tell you everything. My darkest secrets. About my childhood. My relationships. And how I am KUWTK. I know you are dealing with a lot, so I thought hearing about my struggles will motivate you. Which brings me to secret #1: I really don’t care about your struggles, I am baring … Continue reading Naked
Human potential is a weird thing. Together, we’ve pulled off the perfect conspiracy theory. The idea that the guy walking on the moon is 99% chimp is a thought that needs you to be on a forest of weed, minimum. Of course, since no guy walked the moon, he can’t be a chimp and is, … Continue reading Ubermench
Whether you are into myths or not, you've surely heard about this dude, Sisyphus. He invented trekking. He was also a king. And like most kings, he was a dick. He managed to do the only thing you should avoid if find yourself in a Greek mythology: he pissed off the Gods. So the Gods … Continue reading The labour of inspiration
