We are 96% ape. If that astonishes you, here's something that won't: we are a 100% one another. Not to burst your I-am-the-chosen-one bubble or anything, but you are the most mainstream thing on earth. Humanity's progress has been determined by how discontent it has been with itself. Because we all have a deep-rooted desire … Continue reading Get one free
There's an elusive answer with your name on it. You conduct an almost rabid search for it. In books, experiences, travel, music, money, and mountains. Along the way, you join a cult. Or, better, you start one. You will do whatever it takes to find out the answer to the mysterious quirk that is your … Continue reading What should I do with my life?
Can you get to the right place at the right time -- some other time? I wanted to write this essay a month back. I didn't do it because I can undisputably, not uncommonly point to the fact that some other things came up. Procrastination is a pathological condition of productivity. Its symptoms are as mild … Continue reading Allow me to transform your life
Passion is unforgiving. Get it wrong and it will haunt you like the ex-girlfriend who needed your love to come out of the closet. We've been forever fraught with the find your passion counsel but never been briefed of all the ways it can go wrong. Most people never find their passion. Society, economics and your … Continue reading Giving your life to something
To fool people is assolery. To fool yourself is thievery. Of the former, the world reeks. The latter is what prompted this essay. When you fool yourself, you rob yourself of the truth. It's the beginning of everything from cults to superstitions. You may have steered clear of grand crap-canoes like those, but there's something … Continue reading Fooled by certainty
Freedom is a light at the end of the dark, dingy tunnel that is our lives. Human affliction is the ceaseless need to get to the light. The few that make it wet their pants, lose their purpose and fall into bottomless lunacy. They run back into the tunnel -- back into the habitual darkness. Because … Continue reading Freedom from you
Hoe: Hey fatty. Boo: I am not fat. Hoe: I hope you slip on a banana peel covered in egg yolk the next time you are late for something. I hope you are wearing your new suit and carrying hot coffee. Boo: Why would you hope that? Hoe: Cze you are fat. Insults, rudeness, mindless … Continue reading Too stupid to insult
At 8:12 PM on June 24, 2015, Katy Kapeland's flight touched down at the Heathrow international airport. She was looking forward to a two-week vacation with her family in London. As the flight announcement putting an end of people's constipation, permitting the use of mobile phones came on, Katy pulled out her phone, and it … Continue reading How to disagree
The condition that was once an inability to read/write has (almost) been wiped out. Two hundred years ago, the literacy rate was 15%. Now, the illiteracy rate is 15%. With that about-face, the definition of what it means to be illiterate has changed. Illiteracy (n)(21st century): illness caused by too much literacy. The new illiteracy is the ability … Continue reading Being illiterate
Everyone knows Rich. At least according to Rich. Everywhere Rich goes, people queue up to get a glimpse of him. They indulge in acrobatic acts of servility to get his attention. Rich's favorite hobby is to look for people that aren't giving him attention and scream the words "do you know who I am?" into their … Continue reading No one knows who you are
