The miracles of movement are many. When you are lost you stay in one place and plan.The best plan is to keep moving. To planis to be lost. Trust like the clouds.Let go. Be found.To stand still is to expect.To move is to find.Meditation as you knowOccupation in stillness.As you don'tStillness in occupation.

So, what do you do to temporarily forget your flimsy, bootlegged residence on a planet, the comparison to which (the planet I mean) you, or more generally: y'all, draw yourselves to strategize your own insignificance, the spiritual version of cuddling after sex. I think I had a breakdown, sorry. What I meant to ask was … Continue reading This is water, too

You know that quip about how whatever you think normal now was thought crazy once? And vice versa. Planes. Marriage. Democracy. Consent. Vegans. And pretty much all the guys after whom religions were fashioned. Our divisions were fastened in Good and Evil. When philosophers entered the arena, they tried really hard to drive us insane … Continue reading Crossing the line

I have 312 ways to be mortified. 313 if you include this one. Everything I know tells me the appropriate reaction to the past--the 312 essays on the blog--must be shame, a rather distinct form of it known as Cringe. And yet after every onanistic visitation of the essays on this blog, my public record … Continue reading 313

Let's talk about plastic—the woke's second amendment. The latest hyperawareness around saving the planet is sustainability. It's the millionaire's version of billionaires going to Mars. Every real attempt at creating positive change has one assole sitting by the sidelines, shaking his head. So, "hi." My take on saving the planet is going to sound idiotic, … Continue reading Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?

Grab a barf bag—we are going to talk feelings. You know, the thing men and women fake to get in and out of coitus, respectively. Girlfriend: "My Grandma is unwell and I am really worried."Me: "Well my Grandma's dead, and I am not making a big fuss." Humor. Feeling's birth control pill. Growing up in … Continue reading Marry me, Sylvia

There will come a time when you'll call for help. "Helllllpppppp!!" No, not like that. More like, "I am thinking of starting a Podcast." And there will be a time when you will be called upon. "Helllllpppppp me, thee with the tiny prick!!" No, no. More like, "I eat alone because I am an introvert." … Continue reading I see you

I am not motivated to write today. Every sentence is a chore. Drag. Draaag. And yet, Sunday after Sunday, motivation or not, "welcome to the show. I am so happy to be doing this. Oh, what a great life!" That is what it must feel like to be wealthy. Here's one gag you will hear … Continue reading Singing

The world is about to end.What are you waiting for? Why do you want to continueto think? Now's the time.Join the dance. At least in the last moments,dance. You have been thinking, looking forward to shit.You have been planning,looking back at shit. Thinking,Thinking.Planning,Planning. You have nothing to look forward to anymore.Because, this, you can only … Continue reading Thinking & Planning

You buy shit hoping it will make you happy. But your life continues to suck. Now you get rid of it all hoping the purge will bring rapture. Welcome to minimalism Welcome also to the 21st century, where the spectrum of spiritual irony has people hoarding new beliefs to bring them closer to God and … Continue reading How to start a fire