Let's talk about plastic—the woke's second amendment. The latest hyperawareness around saving the planet is sustainability. It's the millionaire's version of billionaires going to Mars. Every real attempt at creating positive change has one assole sitting by the sidelines, shaking his head. So, "hi." My take on saving the planet is going to sound idiotic, … Continue reading Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?

Grab a barf bag—we are going to talk feelings. You know, the thing men and women fake to get in and out of coitus, respectively. Girlfriend: "My Grandma is unwell and I am really worried."Me: "Well my Grandma's dead, and I am not making a big fuss." Humor. Feeling's birth control pill. Growing up in … Continue reading Marry me, Sylvia

There will come a time when you'll call for help. "Helllllpppppp!!" No, not like that. More like, "I am thinking of starting a Podcast." And there will be a time when you will be called upon. "Helllllpppppp me, thee with the tiny prick!!" No, no. More like, "I eat alone because I am an introvert." … Continue reading I see you

I am not motivated to write today. Every sentence is a chore. Drag. Draaag. And yet, Sunday after Sunday, motivation or not, "welcome to the show. I am so happy to be doing this. Oh, what a great life!" That is what it must feel like to be wealthy. Here's one gag you will hear … Continue reading Singing

The world is about to end.What are you waiting for? Why do you want to continueto think? Now's the time.Join the dance. At least in the last moments,dance. You have been thinking, looking forward to shit.You have been planning,looking back at shit. Thinking,Thinking.Planning,Planning. You have nothing to look forward to anymore.Because, this, you can only … Continue reading Thinking & Planning

You buy shit hoping it will make you happy. But your life continues to suck. Now you get rid of it all hoping the purge will bring rapture. Welcome to minimalism Welcome also to the 21st century, where the spectrum of spiritual irony has people hoarding new beliefs to bring them closer to God and … Continue reading How to start a fire

The sky is the color of fire. The cliff is burning into an impossible expanse, a surrender. And the sea—the sea is a pool of tears shed at the frightening abundance of so much beauty and sacrifice. The sea is extinguishing itself into the sky. Beauty makes you feel infinitely. There's something about it that makes … Continue reading A beautiful disquiet

How did philosophy become the annoying one? Of the seven liberal arts that make up the three-year-long job application to Starbucks, five are tedious schlock. Music is respite and logic is philosophy's scaffolding. At a time when beliefs were adulterating lives, philosophy put thought through a purification process. It was a cataract for a fading … Continue reading Philosophy

"Find your passion." "Finding your passion is stupid. Find what you are good at, and do it long enough, and it will become your passion." Find something you undisputedly suck at, but for strictly self-loathing reasons, want to continue doing, and then keep doing until you realize you have become so good at being bad … Continue reading Bhakti